Professional mediation: How to improve our skills and techniques for a more effective and positive communication between two parties in conflict?

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Communication is the foundation stone of mediation and the question mediators often ask ourselves is, how do we improve our skills and techniques for more effective and positive communication in mediation between two conflicting parties?

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Most human conflict has its origin in communication problems or in the absence of it. For this reason, conflicts that take place in the business or corporate sphere often get bogged down and the parties involved are not able to give in to move towards a solution or necessary agreements that will save the company from long, costly and unnecessary legal processes. entirely satisfactory. Communication is the foundation stone of mediation and the question mediators often ask ourselves is, how do we improve our skills and techniques for more effective and positive communication in mediation between two conflicting parties?

Being a professional in mediation generally implies having a genuine talent for communication, added to the knowledge acquired during our academic training, in our work experience and thanks to constant interaction with people. But unlike other roles in today's society that also aim at conflict resolution (judges, teachers, arbitrators), our role requires mastery and the use of the main tool of our work: language.

In mediation we apply different communication techniques in each process. It is necessary that we know, understand and interpret, for effective communication between the opposing parties, the three dimensions of language:

• Verbal language: in mediation, the use of the spoken or written word is decisive. There are words that work like keys that open doors (thank you, please, excuse me, permission); there are others that build a language of harmony and are capable of creating a cooperative environment where positive communication flows (adjectives that evoke feelings, nouns that bring images to memory, verbs that invite action). It can be said that the professional mediator is also an expert in communication; We continually study and put into practice the use of specific words that improve our techniques, enrich the particular language of mediation, and help us follow an orderly methodology throughout the process.

• Non-verbal language: by observing carefully, the mediator will develop the ability to interpret different signals that are also implicit in the mediation processes, even when they do not have to do with the exclusive use of words. The body posture of the people involved, the gestures they make, their gaze, attitude, mood and their location or distance from others, are just some of the elements that we must identify and manage in a mediation context, in order to give a broader meaning to the process and act accordingly.

• Paralanguage or paraverbal language: another level of language that a professional cannot put aside in their mediating activity, because it helps to give context to the use of verbal language by the opposing parties, is paralanguage. The inflection of the voice, the tone, the volume, the speed or slowness of speaking, the order or the dispersion of the ideas, the use of taglines, the pauses, the control of the breathing, the facial movements and sounds that accompany the orality (rictus, nervous tics, grimacing, coughing, clearing, clicking, laughing). All these manifestations are useful for mediation work as they allow us to intervene, using the appropriate techniques, to regulate, take advantage of and motivate a fluid and positive conversation between the parties.

Our purpose as professional mediators is to facilitate, help, provide and manage with specific methodology, skills and techniques, the creation of a positive environment in which the best communication can take place between two parties with different points of view, different circumstances and a host of contained emotions. Communication in mediation can never be subject to rules, imposed orders or sanctions, but must always promote understanding between the parties involved in the dispute, so that they are the ones who seek and are able to find the solution.

Also, there are other elements and factors related to communication that are under our responsibility as mediators:

• Detailed information that explains to the parties in conflict what mediation consists of, its voluntary nature, roles, methodology to be used, anticipated times, tools and means available, audiovisual aids that will be available and technical, professional assistance or legal during the process, if necessary

• The creation of a space-time framework where the opposing parties can express themselves and be heard

• The use of techniques that promote active listening and dialogue between the parties, but maintaining our objectivity and impartiality throughout the process.

• The orderly direction of the mediation process and acting as guarantors to maintain a climate of mutual respect during the conversations

• The timely and convenient use of mediator language: what to say, how to say it, why to say it, when to say it and for what purpose (objective).

• The clarification and correction of perceptions and false information that in advance have influenced the conflict and have conditioned it

• The guarantee that during and after the mediation process, all the parties involved will undertake to keep all information private and strictly confidential.

Permanent learning, understanding, mastery and training in the three dimensions of language will allow us to continuously improve our mediating activity, which, being a practical activity, requires the incorporation of these three levels and their technical application, as facilitators of a process. ordered whose final objective is to cooperate to reach a consensual solution between two opposing parties and to sign agreements that reveal a win-win result.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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